| Date: | 2006-06-28 22:53 |
| Subject: | im weak |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  fucking tireddd |
So i know i havent written in the for a while. I really have nothing to say. except my summer is going well so far. Today it was going even better bc bec moved in down the block. I had fun. But duddeee we fucking had sooo much shit to move. imade 25 bucks :D. but seriously we had to fill this fuckinjg huge box of frozen food and then no one could take it to the car bc it was to heavy.Dude we fucking ate that shit; we carried it. We carried soooo much shit. Were soo manly it was soo awesome though. Bc i had so much energy like my legs wanted to calpse but my body was still going it was soo weird. anywayyy Ive done something everyday so far this summer. So its pretty amazing. I found out nick is going to wild wood today for like 5 days . Idk what im going to do. Because so far ive only chilled with him 4 times tthis week. going onto next week. I know it was probably yesterday i chilled with him last. but it feels like forever. and now 5 days!? shit man. lmaoo wow i need to stop myself before i sound like one of those obsessed gfs. idk i miss him. were always with our friends so i barely talk to him at night. whatevvv. ill see him soon hopefully. Everythings really good actually im enjoying myself relaxing this summer. Im suppose to go next week to sing with rob so hopefully i do that soon. Which i was suppose toooo todayyy but someoneeeee didnt call me. whatevv i still had fun today with bec. anyway theres so much and nothinga t the same time to talk about. so if you havent chilled with me to know that sucks. i really cant keep up with the LJ thing bc idk so much happens. and i really dont think anyone reads this so whatevv. Peace out nigs im gunna go watch dave chappelle. Later.
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Yooo nigss. everythings perfect good. I dont want to say im happy bc i dont want to jinx myself but really this week was amazing it was really good actually i did alot and i had fun. i dont feel like going through everything bc theres so much but im hopeing the whole summer will be like this. I love nick alot actually. I hung out with him and joe and tom today it was a lot of fun actually. I hope i get to do it again actually i know i am so yea lol. tmw ihave a big party to go to and im actyually really excited. but i know if i get my hopes up its gunna suck balls so im trying not to r4eally care about it. i just know theres gunna be a lotttt of spanish music and dancing :D lol alright im madddd fucking tired. so peace out.
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So today i was having a awesome last day of skool. I loved it. until the very end. I basically learned that i let everything get to me. And i shouldnt waste my time and engery on other useless people. So Sommeone that is oh so cute and adorable said shit about me today and .. of course i was fed up. I have been nice to this person for soo long and i was fianlly done with his backstabing shit. I blew up nick got mad. end of story. If it wasnt for nick i think i seriously would have beaten the shit out of this person. But i calmed down and just fucking walked away. So nick made me realize a lot of things. Hitting that fucking kid wouldnt ahve done anything just make me feel good. So i was like its not worth it and thats it. It was over. But for some reason its not. To me this little shit head needs to get what he deserves. But i refuse to do it bc nick would be mad. Ughh decisions decisions. Whatevv. i think its funny how PEOPLE ARE FUCKING JEALOUS OF HOW I ACTUALLY DO REALLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. GROW THE FUCK UP. maybe if you didnt have your head up your ass youd realize your friends dont like you. eveyrone uses you. your shallow and you dont have a reason to be. your NOT hot shit and if you were. youd have a girl but you dont so get over the fact that nick is better then you ever will be and next time you need to say shit to my fucking face and stop being such a pussy.
Ahh that felt good to get out of my system. Fuck this. im out.
LIKE OH MY GOD NICK STOLE MY HEART.
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yoo im wit mii gurll lissaaa yeaaa rite noahw n we in englicshhh pimpin it oauutt . lmao. hyper and bored. whatevvv
LISA SMELLS....
LIKE POOP.........
AND SHES WATCHIN ME TYPE.
"ACTUALLY IM HEARING YOU TYPE".
BC I TALK AND TYPE.
BECAUSE....
IDK
BUT LISA STINKS
THE END
:D
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So its been a while since ive been happy. thats what i said last entry i think i speak to fast for my own good. I dont think i can be happy and know im happy. To me it seems like for every small thing that makes me happy theres a bigger upsetting coming up. Im pretty much fucked this summer. I want to fjdklfaq. And worse i lost . at least i think i lost. one of my friends. im soo fucking confused about everyone and everything and i hate it. Why cant we live in a perfect world with perfect people that were all just perfectly happy. Why cant i give a shit about anyone. Why do i care abotu anything. Im gunna get old and die why not just chill and fuck everything until my time comes. Its not like anything matters. Ughhh im in that mood where i just wanna fucking punch you in the face. I dont even know you and i want to fucking kill you . :) wow. maybe im just pmsing lmaoo yeah i dont care if you know im fucking stressed and i just want to get fucked up and just pass out until July 1. Fuck skool up the fucking asshole hole soooo hard it bleeds. ughh whyyyyy do i give a shit. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM FUCKING SAYING IM TALKING OUT OF MY FUCKING ASS. uGHHGFSDAKLFJ;ASDFASJKL maybe i need a long sleep. or a really good long bath. Maybe i just .. idk . need a friend.
Whatevv. i dont feel like talking right now.
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So today is 4 months and I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND WITH ALL MY HEART. i havent been HAPPY in a while. idk with skool family... friends. things werent going so well and i was always mad at nothing. But after yesterday.I noticed that i take advantage of a lot of things. But i def. needed a cheering up and i got one.
Okay starting off with yesterday. Normal day was aighttt. then i went to robs practiced and recorded my song for the final. I hadd sooo much fun. It was a first that i was singing and i wasnt so bad lol. Well that was fun then i got home and i got a call from pattyy.. !! yess hes amazingg and im soo happy i got to talk to him. We talked for a while it was awesome.So i talked to night yesterday for like 2 seconds. =/ but thennnnn today i was talking to him. didnt seem very happy i actually thought he forgot it was 4 months. until i said something to someone and he was liek yeah its 4 months.soo at the end of the day nick had left. i didnt know why so i called him and asked him if everything was alright and he said yea and he just needed to go home. so i was like whatever and i came home. and there is roses sitting on my doorstep with a note that said "happy 4 months babe. I love you" CAN HE HAVE SURPRISED ME ANYMORE. idk maybe im oblivious fdshafj but i dont care bc i was soooo happyy. I LOVE HIM SOO MUCH WITH ALL MY HEART HE IS THE BEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES. i love him.. a lot. So i called him and told him how much i loved it and him and that he didnt need to do it. But he told me " he wanted to" THAT WAS THE BEST ANSWER EVER. fjasklfsd ughhhhh idk .. but im head over heals for this kid. he reallyyy truley makes me happy. woww. im a pretty lucky girl. :D i love him and i love fjdas; jfsdal; everything . im soo happyyy <3333
:D<33333
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| Date: | 2006-06-10 14:46 |
| Subject: | Lack of future |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  gangstaaasss |
ehhh again nothing to write. but what can i say i have an exciting life.. nott. Well theres really nothing to explain besides that... im pretty sure my parents are being kool this week!?!?! idkk but its awesome i dont want to get my hopes up though about everything cause that would suck. Well anyway BECS PACKIGNGG im fucking excitedd shes fucking moving .. 5 houses down!? how fucking awesome is it when your best friend decides to move on your block. Yeahh whatevv. Everyone says were gunna get sick of each other. Although we might want to kick each others ass a little more. Im sure itll be whatevv kinda kool. cause yeah but the only thing that sucks is that when i lie and tell my parents i went to her house they actually know if im going to her house or not. That sucks balls but whatev. Im pretty excited. The summermy pool.. HOPEFULLY chillaxin with people that actually mean it when they say they want to chill. So yeah this summer will be pretty insane. considering st ambrose is coming up bitches. Yeah idk i just want skool to end and kurkowski to retire lol.
Well today Im going to my cousins birthday party in ny. Chilling there with my wholleee moms side of the family then going to my aunts on my dads side to watch the fight. And yeah right now im "attmepting" to watch the soccer game bc i kinda know whats going on. Lol all i know is the ecuador kicked polans ass and thats all that counts lol bc we suck lol. Soo yeah im out my bitches. Peacee.
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I know nicklebutt is reading this soo hiii lol. I really have nothing to write. I went out today with nick i came home and im going back out with him. Yayy. lol Blahh im madd tired. I dont know why im sooo fucking tired alll the time. Its crazyy . Whatevvv . Nothing to write. blahh peace my nigs.
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Whuddd up my g's. Spastiful!? great. wonderful. Thats awesome. I dont really fucking care how your doing. I dont fucking care how im doing. I dont even know why i write in this. Such a waste of time. But such a good way to express myself . lmaoo my ass. If i wanted to express myself people would have fist prints on there face. Ughh im soo like flasjdlfasd. Braraklhfdsaj; exactly. But im happy at the same time. Im serious if i didnt have my amazinggggg boyfriend i dont know how i would go through everyday of skool. I cant wait im counting down the days to the last day of skool. Im fucking parting alll summerrr longg babyy. Fuck everything im enjoying it. Im excited.
Well nicolas came over today. Of corse. he always leaves me in a good mood. Im soo weird. Were both weird and i wouldnt have it any other way. Just saying his name makes me smile. Hes the best. Well anyway . I just finnished my fucking bio project. last min yayyy bc im doing horrible in that class not as bad as i thought though. So all props to kathy for kicking some ass.
Well anyway i havent slept in 49328423 years i feel like every night i get less and less sleep and its not even like i talk to nick on the phone late bc we always get off earlier and earlier but i feel it in the morning. im like fuck that 5 mins imade nick stay on the fone i could use right about now. its the worse but who the fuck cares skools over. Im fucking excited i have 3 partayyss coming up and pattys show hopefully i go. Im excited heard mad good bands. Then of course st. ambrose carnival. Yayy for getting smashed sleeping through finals and skool ending. Ahhh the carnival.. i think no matter how old you are... the carnival will always be the kool thing lmaoo not really but lets all pretend :D lol . Im outt mann im tired. and i feel like im gunna puke. peace my nigs
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4 Months later. and they have still yet to change. Somtimes i wish to know what would happen if i didnt have the parents that i do today. I wonder how much happier, or more sad i would be with other parents. I wish i could choose my parents. Make them understand just a little bit. But then again i always remember i cant. So whats the use in thinking about it. It really bothers me. My parents i mean, because like pretty much all my life i have been dissatified. I wasnt really happy with who i was who i was friends with. Where i was going in life. I alwayss think of the future. i guess thats always been my problem. But anyway, i dont really want to get into it but i never liked who i was i know i wasnt liked, i was talked about, used and every other word you can put into it. But i alwayss tried to be happy. I tried to fit in the beginning but thhen i just figured fuck it. Its not worth it. Thats why pretty much last year and this year was just so amazing bc i mad it amazing. And i figured i acutally did something right in my life, but my parents came along and pretty much fucked me over right about now. I keep telling myself once i get a car, im gunna be so happy. Ill drive wherever i want. Go to fucking parties chill with whoever i want. Go to nicks soccer games :D i can do whatever the fuck i want, but some how it feels so far away and it doesnt seem like my parents are gunna get any better when i get a car. Its been 4 months and still today there just as terrible as the first day. Somtimes i wish they could read this and just be dissapointed in themselves but they dont care at all. Seriously if they were reading this as i typed it, they would would laugh and act like nothing happened. They are so thickheaded they wont budge for a second they wouldnt give this entry two thoughts which i guess i shouldnt either. Forget it. I give up.
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| Date: | 2006-06-01 20:26 |
| Subject: | misunderstandings |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  I LOVE THE RAINNN ! |
I think to much . i really need to stop actually. Please ignore the total entry below this. Why? bc its just an angery kathy that needs to let her feelings out.
what are my real feelings? I ABSOLUTLY LOVE MY BOYFRIEND HES AMAZINGG IF YOU DONT KNOW HIM MEET HIM. Hes amazing he makes me feel sosoo good. And of course he knows all the little tricks to get me out of my little stressed out mood. I love him with all my heart. He is the first boy that has kissed me in the rain lmao i know thats corny but i absoluetly wanted that alllllll my life and it was amazingg waiting for it. Waiting for him I LOVE HIM
ahhh its piouring and lightening and thurndering and wooo i love it. I have to goo cause my house is shaking and i think its a good idea if i turn off my comp lmaoo.
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| Date: | 2006-06-01 16:44 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  wtf? |
Is it possible to hate everything you have? For the worst possible things to get worse? For hating life so much that you dont know what to do with yourself anymore? My mind is fucking everywhere and i hate it. For every good thing there seems to be a bad thing trailing behind it. I cant win and it bothers me soo much. I cant explain what i mean if my life depended on it. Its so hard to put into words but i hate sooo many things but i dont at the same time. I hate how everything has a reason and i dont know the reason. I hate how i try soooo hard and i fail. I hate the way my life is going, but at times i love it with all my heart. How come everythign comes so easy for everyone [or it seems like it] and i have to struggle. Why is everyone always sooo happy and i cant even crack a smile? Why is everything so fucking hard? All i want is to be happy is that so much to ask? Im soo stressed and i dont care but i care and i know i care. Im soo fucking confused and i cant talk to anyone thats what sucks out of everything. Even if i could i dont want to i just want everything to stop for a secondd. one fucking second so i could just let out one big breath and just be okay. I need that.."okay" every so often because im that kind of person that stresses out for no reason. I worry and i get scared. I dont care i worry about skool [alot] family, nick, my friends, where my fucking life is going. I stress out because im trying my best to keep everything under control and i keep even keep up with what im eating for dinner!?. Theres soo many things i want to say but i want to quiet. Its soo hard to explain how i feel because i dont know what i feel. I dont know whats up with me. I dont know whats going on. Is it normal to act the way i do? Is it normal to want to cry for no reason? To want a hug? To smile? I doing so many things and i dnot know where to start. Im thinking so many things and i cant even see straight. Im soo worn out right now. So drained. Im so fucking powerless and weak that i just dont want to do anythning anymore. Where am i gunna get at in life if im like this. I cant keep taking breaks, shortcuts, easy ways out. But if only everyone understood that theres so many more emotions that comes with life then whats thought. Sometimes i just wish things could stop. Today i was totally just... confused, and out of it. Im soo stressed and its the end of the year i should be laying back.. but im failing everything and im trying which is pissing me off. while everyones enjoying there tanning and pools im sitting at home craming things in my head because i dont get shit. Im trying soo hard and its soo easy for everyone but me. And my parents dont make it any easier. I think there objective in life is to make me a total whore that could never keep a bf. They want me to "see whats out there" BUT I DONT FUCKING WANT TO. Is it so hard to be fucking happy for me? is it soo hard to just TRUST ME FUCKING JUDGEMENTS there fucking assholes. I dont understand anyone anymore. People in out skool dont make it any better. Idk i just hate everyone. I wish i could fucking drive alrighty so i can just leave and just drive and drive and drive until im completely lost and everythign makes sense to me again. I need something and i dont know what. I dont even know why im fucking writing this. Fuck tthis.
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DID I EVER MENTION HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MY PARENTS. SKOOL. LIFE ETC? NOPE WELL I DO.
FUCK EVERYONE SOOOO HARD UP THAT ASS.
Why cant i just be happy. Is it so much to ask for. i cant wait for the fucking summer.
I want to move. run. hide!? i dont care what i do as long as im not in this house anymore
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So today i destroyed my room. I took down everythingg from my walls. And for those of you that have not seen my new room i had shit everywhere. So i went crazy and took everything down and totally clean my room until it was spotless. I dont know why i did it but i felt like i had to. So now my room is clean which is a first. it kinda feels weird but it smells good :DIm soo pooped and tired but my grandma came today along with my great uncle and my little..... annoying cousin so righht now im dodgeing everyone and hiding out in my room. Theyre sleeping over and tmw more family is coming over this time my moms side. Good thing nick is away bc he knows i would have made him come over and meet everyone lol.
So i became obssessed with that song from fray well idk i just like it. lol. yeah well anyway i changed my myspace its cute it makes me smile. Idk lately after my crazyy hate fest last week im soooo happyyy. idk whyy. Nick has a lot to do with it. He makes me soo happy. and idk i feel like im growing up i guess. Getting mature and just not caring about anyone else. For one in my life im taking charge. Im controlling my life how i want it. Im excited for the summer bc im just gunna enjoy it. Im gunna do all the things i love to do. Im gunna get down and dirty. Im gunna get lost in the woods. Im gunna be one of the guys :D lol . im gunna have fun and laugh. All the other summers that has past. i always just sat around waiting for other people. this summer i dont care im just gunna find people if no one can chill im gunna go out and just.. go crazy. This summers the last REAL summer i can go without a jopb and without real responsiblities bc i know once i get my car its gunna be over. i mean im gunna have fun but im gunna have to start getting realy and stop acting like a little 5 year old in a candy store. I mean its kinda scary to think about and annoying just knowing that i have only 3 months to really enjoy and relax but i guess i have to get over it. Damn man.. a little more then 4 months and ill be 17 im old. lol . well nicks still away and i miss him. HEE SHOULDD COMEE HOME. and i soooo new that all my plans were gunna get messed up this weekend. Ahh the beauty of telling the future.
I love really love nick. And i cant stop smilinggg idkk whyy :D
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Whadd upp whaddup my favorite g's. Soo nothing really happened today. Half day pretty kool. Soo pretty much all my plans fell through. Nick left today :( i didnt even give him a kiss. Well i did but not a goodbye kiss. :( Hes gone for the wholeeeee weekend. I dont know what im gunna do . I have no friends lol. Not really im gunna chill with everyone itll be kool. Today me and stephhie are suppose to chill so that'll be kool. Tmw hopefully me bec and karli will chill bc we NEVER chill with karl she was always working.So yeah sunday i was suppose to go to the beach with the girls but i dont think thats gunna happen bc katie cant so maybe tmw? idk im just gunna take my days one by one. It'll be kool then monday if nick gets home early im playing paintball with him friends little 11 year old brother. lmaoo its gunna be funny im gunna get my ass kicked. Lol im excited though bc ive been waiting 4390823 years to freakin play. All the girls i ever ask to go are wosies. if i spelt that right. Yeah soo yeah lol.i just cant wait till nick gets home. and between that im suppose to do a project and clean my pool and my fucking messy ass grungy room. Lmaoo blahh i know this weekend is gunna end up with me doing nothing bc thats what always happens when you have plans lol. So anyway i miss nick already :) lol Well yeah i have nothing really to write bc i pretty much hate a lot of ppl right now and i dont feel like getting in a bad mood :) lol Aight yo. Im guna get ready and drive to stephies. Yayy driviing in the rain for the first time. not im gunna shit myself lol.
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So i greaw this new obsession with glassjaw. I mean ive always loved them but idk theyre more amazing then they were? its like that one song that you can relate to that you just instantly love them even more. yeahh well anywayy. Today was alright. It started off like all the other days. well the bad ones at least. I woke up late, cranky, and just wanting to punch someone in the face. I was mean like i have been for the past couple of days. Maybe a little more bc ontop i was hot. Well anywayi was bitchy and then i started to relax a little in vocal cause idk dana was there. lol and meahgan idk they just made my day. Or at least i thought they did at that moment. Mr Up is sick by the way. Hes in the hospital im not sure what he has ive heard a couple of things but id rather not say bc i dont want to spread rumors. So anyway math was fun bc i was enjoying annoying everyone and trying to piss everyone off. but it didnt really work bc ppl just laughed lol. So idk i was just really confused today and blahh. Then i went walking with nick and we talked. No criing today thank god. And ... idk i really love him. Like i can seriously stare at him all day and just be fine with that. Hes soo perfect. I wasnt confused anymore and idk he just puts a smile on my face. He got me a flower that was high up in a tree. AWWWWW i felt sooo special. there were thorns and shit and he still climbed it. If i was him i would have been like "bitch if you want it you can get it" but he didnt he climbed it for me and got it. It was the olny one there and it was soo gorgous. dkasjl; I love him soo much So we just chilled and EVERYTHING was better. And he was happy. and when hes happy im happy. So i know the rest of the week will be fun bc i think tmw im gunna watch nick play paintball. Then friday chill with him and go bowling that night with him and his dad. Then sat. idk i might help bec pack :D FOR HER HOUSE which is 4 hourses down from me. Then sunday im going or might go to the beach with kasey and rebecca which should be fun. Monday idk yet. maybe do my project with rebecca not sure yet. So i have a busy week ahead of me :D Well i dont think i can get any happier right now. My boyfriend is the best thing i have. I really dont care what people think or care anymore. Why should i let what people say interfere with my happiness? The world is so ridiculous sometimes. I guess i just have to laugh it off bc thats the only thing you can really do. Why let things bother you?
I really truly love my boyfriend and nothing can change that.
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So you'd think after a couple bad days i'd have one fucking good day. I dont think this day can even compare to any other day. I spent my day fucking criing in english. and then twice with nick. I DONT FUCKING KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME. im such a pussy. I hate that word but i dont even fucking care. So much drama for what ? who made it? i dont know what the fuck to do with my life. And you'd think the big bitch of the south would have some sympathy (my mom) see me after i look like shit and its noticable that i was balling before. That she might go.. whats wrong? so i can go NOTHING LEAVE ME ALONE. noppeee she said. " why didnt you call me? you have a fone for whatt???" ohh sorry mom i was to busy thinking about the 5 seconds i was late to be home. which i actually wasnt. and im sorry that it "looks" bad that me and nick were sitting at the end of our corner. I fucking hate her. She has no heart. im dead serious like... i dont know what goes through her head. Im sure she thought me and nick broke up and she expected me to tell her so she can call the guests for the party. That fucking bitch. I hate everyone today. I seriously cant wait till the summer. Im not gunna deal with all the bitches and assholes around. I love nick with all my heart. and i dont think he understands that. I fucking hate everyone and everything. Why is everyone against us? Why cant everything go perfectly. And theres one person thats involved and that doesnt know there involved. Bc supposly i "like" them but i fucking dont. get over it. I like my friends as friends nothing more. Ughh i cant get over this I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. Fuck you im going to sleep. fuck this entry and fuck every other entry fuck my life my parents fuck school and all the fucking shit that comes with it. fuck everything i need sleep.
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So today alright. Ehh i mean what can i say. Its the end of the year and all the teachers are craming everything in. Im just counting down the days of skool until i can actually not be stressed for once and just plain out have some fun. I wanna go crazy this summer. Fuck work im not gunna a job this time. Im completely going crazy and just making this summer memorable. Hopefully all goes well and i have some fun. Ill be able to chill with the girls and bec will be living on my block so that will be kool. And nick :D ahh nick im excited. I wanna do everything i cant usually do on skool days. Hopefully i dont spend to much time tho at home.. chilling with the family. Dont get my wrong im mad excited for the weeks my family and cousins are staying over. But i just need some time to chill for myself. I know that wont happen once but its a dream.
Anyway. So today was stressful and i completely was pissed off at everyone. I was in one of those moods where i just wanted to punch the first person i saw in the face. Ughh it was soo gay . and fucking my bio teacher gave a pop quiz didnt finish it, although i could have which pissed me off. And then we had to hand in labs that i didnt finished. Pissed me off again and then from there i was fucked bc im doing so bad in bio i dont know how though. Ughh whatever.
Soo with my terrible day it finally was a little better when i talked to christa. and i havent for a long time which was good. and she said one of the best thihngs i have ever heard from any of my friends.
CHRlSTAA: yeah i mean you cant help who you like no matter what size or shape
She totally made my day better idkk it was soo good to talk to her. Well then nick came over and we chilled. I gots maddd homework though so i guess i should go do that. Peace out yo.
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Ughh...when will this day end.
So i wrote a long entry yesterday nothing really important just my boring day. Well today i decided i wanted to write in here because theres really nothing else to do. Whatevver. So anyway right after skool chris drove me and bec home and then we went and got our nails done. lol So a certain someeoneee didnt think i was girlie lol and didnt think i would get my nails done but i did and i like them. tmw im gunna wear a skirt or attempt too. Im still debating lol.
So today was soooo good. i loved it. I dont know for a while i have just been sooo bitchy and today i loved it it was soo much fun. The day kinda dragged out but i mad it fun for myself. I dont know i was just so happy. Well that all went down hill. Im soo weird one second i was at becs house smiling soo happy now im soo blahh. I really dont know what wrong with me. Everything is soo stressful and ughh i hate it. `Im just not.. happy. I dont know im werid maybe i just need to sleep.=/
I was juust thinking before . Like about my whole life. I kinda miss one of my old best friends. They meant a lot to me, and i was a jerk and kinda pushed them away. This person knows who they are, and im truley sorry. I never meant to make you feel like shit, its just im always soo mad and i take it out on you. I really am truly sorry.
Everything use to be soo good. and today it feels like shit. I mean the only good thing is nick.. but even that people are just assholes. I wish i was oblivious and just never noticed how much people are backstabers and assholes. I dont know. Lately ive just been soo agrivated with everyone and everything and idkk. Im just upset at the world. No one will ever understand me and it gets me fustrated, because i dont even understand me.
Hopefully the coheed show tmw will calm me down and make me feel better. =/ ughh I dont even want to see my family tmw thats how fustrated i am. And usually im soo happy to see them bc i really dont chill with anyone . Idkk i just want to be .. fine. Ughh .. i wish i knew where i was getting at.
Bec's moving in a month.. maybe things will get better then. Shes moving 5 houses down so hopefully i can actually relax a little. I need skool to end stress to end. People to be nice and the world to be okay.. i wish there was no drama and no worries. But of course thats to much to ask.
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| Date: | 2006-05-15 14:41 |
| Subject: | Blank |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  Whatever |
Its the valley that holds the secrets
The mountain that holds the dreams
The hills that keeps you moving
The sky that keeps you wise
Its the wind that tells you run
and the grave that agrees
Its you that holds the flower
and dies upon your feet
Its the air that keeps you breathing
and the sun that holds your smile
Its the day that keeps you laughing
and the grave that has you swollowed.
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yeawellyurmom's journal
yeaaaa
bitch fuck you.
thats how i feel.
SOOO FUCKING HAPPY
blah. whudupp.
kool kool
whatever
fuck you
teheee
Everything is going wrong
whatever
i wish i understood myself